The Howdygram 2: A senior citizen shopping splurge that went off the rails.

I didn’t know for sure if I wanted to write a post today as I’ve been swamped with so many other pressing activities here at Howdygram headquarters. These include: 1) breakfast; 2) downloading new clipart for greeting card projects for The Howdygram Store; and 3) taking a shower.

With regard to item number two, last night I bought a one-month subscription to iClipart.com, a pleasant website with above-average cartoons and illustrations if you can figure out the right search words. I’m doing nicely so far. They let you download 35 images a day, but since I’ve already reached today’s limit (I reached yesterday’s limit as well) if I want to continue searching for images I can always add them to my basket and download them tomorrow or the day after. I’m stocking up on holiday images, photos, weird cartoons, smiley kitty-cats and so on. This is an excellent deal for $9.95.

I thought I’d better include this latest batch of FREE FONTS as soon as possible because they were starting to pile up and I don’t want to overwhelm anybody with too many all at once. Today’s batch is quite versatile, including lots of scripts (I like “Tasty Morsel” and Summertime Romance”), interesting display fonts (“Mystery Quest,” “Friday Feels”) and a few hand-written fonts (“Modern Magic,” “Landslide,” “Blossom”).

Please also note the following three essential text font families: “Mikado,” “Charter” and “Century Schoolbook.” If you’re still using Times Roman for correspondence I might have to beat the crap out of you with my cane. Therefore try one of these fonts instead so you can feel like a person who lives in the 21st century. Download links, as always, will appear below the graphic.

Best Sellers Bundle • Secret Service • Bridal & Sprout • Guthrie • Raitons

Seantero • Blossom • Friday Feels • Tabo • Mystery Quest • Tasty Morsel • Pepperidge • Tarot

Cactus Flower • Mikado • Charter • Century Schoolbook • Vanilla Vibes

Summertime Romance • Handwritten Bundle

The senior citizen shopping splurge that I discussed in a recent post [click here] didn’t work out very well for me. We had to return the slippers to Shoes.com because the design was atrocious. They were pretty, they were well-made and they were actually wide enough for my horrible feet … but the rubber traction sole was elevated just enough to make me lose my balance or slide out of the shoe altogether and break my neck. And the office chair from Amazon wasn’t much better, either. The seat was a little too narrow for my butt even though the online description said otherwise. No problem. Sam assembled the chair and decided to keep it for himself, and I took the chair he’d been using for the last couple of years. It’s a nice one. Everybody’s happy!

Ever tasted a SmartCake? Boy, you’re missing the ZERO-CARB TREAT OF THE CENTURY! I just ordered two cases from Netrition last week (one case of Chocolate, one case of Tangerine) and Sam and I have been noshing on these little cuties for the last couple of days. Each case includes eight twin-packs … 16 SmartCakes total. They’re moist, they taste fabulous, and I’d love to try both flavors with Pillsbury’s Sugar-Free Chocolate Fudge Frosting! Woo-hoo!

FYI, SmartCakes are also high in fiber, low-fat, low-calorie and also come in Cinnamon and Coconut flavors for your possible interest. They’re terrific for diabetics or anybody who just wants to cut the sugar from their diet. You can also buy them from Amazon, but only if you don’t mind blowing $13.20 more for each box, which would make you a certified idiot. (SmartCakes sell for $23.79 on Netrition and $36.99 on Amazon. Oy.)

Before I sign off for the day I wanted to announce my first appointment with Dallas’ premier mobile dental office. Elite Mobile Dental is coming over at 4 p.m. on Wednesday, January 3. Woo-hoo! This will be the last dental procedure of my entire life … seven extractions and a lower denture. I’m so goddamn excited I can hardly stand it. As a handicapped senior citizen who can’t leave the house, I’d been wondering for years how I’d ever get to a dental office again to have this kind of work done … and then I did a Google search and found Elite Mobile Dental, a team that specializes in nursing facilities and homebound seniors. THIS IS A MIRACLE. I know you must think I’m insane, but I can’t wait to finally have these damn extractions done and a lower denture made. Oh boy! TEETH!

It’s finally time for a nap and a movie with Sam. Thank you for reading this and please do your best to remember the Alamo.