Wednesday, July 19, 2017

The Howdygram bids farewell to Martin Landau.

Shalom and howdy, everybody! It’s 5 o’clock Tuesday morning and I just finished prepping for this Howdygram post. This includes: 1) Googling images for today’s feature about Princess Anne; 2) organizing, cropping and framing the images mentioned in item one; 3) installing today’s free fonts on my iMac; 4) designing today’s free fonts sample list, especially “Diamond Monogram”; and 5) choosing and sizing today’s free digital background images, clipart and assorted doodads from Creative Market.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

At last … I’m getting a visiting foot doctor!

Howdy-do, people! We had a pleasant summery Saturday here at Howdygram headquarters yesterday, featuring surprise thunderstorms, unexpected cactus pears, a copious amount of pishing, an extremely nice lunch (details to follow), and — best of all — I’M GETTING A VISITING FOOT DOCTOR!

On Saturday afternoon I got a call from a home health agency that’s been asked to set up an appointment for me with a traveling foot doctor because I haven’t been able to visit a podiatrist’s office for routine care in more than three years.* I’m diabetic with severe peripheral neuropathy, and these diseases are nothing at which to sneeze, believe me! Please stay tuned for additional information but don’t hesitate to resume your normal routine in the meantime.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

I missed National French Fry Day. Don’t be mad at me.

Hi, people! Happy sweaty Thursday from the crew at Howdygram Tower in north Texas!

IN OTHER WORDS . . . And now I’d like to unravel a couple of possibly misleading statements from my lede. First, there’s no “crew” because I blog alone. (Practically everybody blogs alone, guys.) Second, there’s no “tower,” either … just a nice desk in a nice room in a nice house (kindly check out the photo that appears in the right sidebar). I also have a lot of nice desk doodads, including many pens and a pencil, a pencil cup, a fancy tape dispenser that holds two different kinds of tape in two different sizes, a brand-name stapler, a desk lamp with six lighting modes and a dimmer switch, a lot of small (8½" x 5½") lined tablets, a classy black genuine leather Kleenex box cover, sugar-free Hawaiian Punch singles-to-go, bottled water, my own personal microwave and a teeny fridge. Thank you.

Monday, July 10, 2017

A few more free fonts and a quick summary of Donald Trump at the G20 summit. With pictures!

Shalom and happy Monday morning from my house to yours! This may or may not be a very long Howdygram post, mostly because I haven’t decided what time I want to go to bed. It’s 2:35 a.m. right now, and I’m confused. Also thirsty.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

July is Ronald Colman Month on Turner Classic Movies. Woo-hoo!

Yo, shalom, and howdy-do from hot and sweaty north Texas! It’s 80° at 8 a.m. with an expected high of 95° by mid-afternoon and humidity in the range of 60%. The air will feel like a SWAMP. I can’t recall what this intense heat feels like nor do I want to open the front door to experience this shit for myself, as I’m perfectly content at my desk in an air-conditioned house, without shoes or a brassiere, drinking Crystal Light Peach-Mango tea. I FUCKING LOVE RETIREMENT.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Senior citizens try to get a grip on the twenty-first century.

My project du jour, which I just finished, involved choosing and organizing cards for my 2018 birthday card list. I design my own greeting cards and order them from my store on Zazzle, mailing about 45 altogether throughout the year to relatives and friends. They’re fucking adorable even if I say so myself, and I’ve got some of the funniest cards on the Internet. I sell a lot of them. Of course I’d be even happier if YOU bought a few, but what the hell … do whatever you want, okay? Some of my designs appear below for your possible interest.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Wishing y’all a happy Fourth!

Before I launch into one of my Howdygram rants about old age, a serious shortage of sugar-free cookies, U.S. politics or morons in the news — the latter two typically being the same fucking thing — I want to wish each and every one of you a safe and happy Independence Day with tons of hot dogs, potato salad and Popsicles. Yes, it’s always about the food! And if any of you are enjoying a big hoo-hah holiday fireworks display please email a few photos to me and I’ll post them in the Howdygram. Thank you.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

“At some point in the future we’re going to look back and say, how did we do it without space?”

Here’s wishing y’all a very happy Second of July, a day with no significance whatsoever unless you’re the poor slob who has to spend two hours in line at Wal-Mart buying hot dogs for the Fourth. As for Sam and me, we’ll just hang out at Howdygram headquarters with some fabulous old movies, Crystal Light peach/mango iced tea and my favorite guilty pleasure for lunch: Mountain House freeze-dried Spaghetti with Meat Sauce [read my review*] for housebound senior citizens who can’t stand up any more to cook things. Sure looks tasty, doesn’t it?