Costco sells hard-boiled eggs.

Monday night, 9 p.m., just finished dinner. Nothing fancy. A couple of nice frozen chicken things on pita bread from Costco. With cheese. And now maybe somebody can explain why I sound like Sergeant Joe Friday from “Dragnet.”

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Before I jump into other subjects I thought it might be nice to cover smaller topics with my world-famous subtitled paragraphs. Here we go, okay?

I NEED A DO-OVER FOR YESTERDAY’S ROSE PARADE because I completely forgot about it and didn’t watch. It was like New Year’s Day wasn’t really New Year’s Day ... it was just any other ordinary day of the year. I’m slightly despondent about this, but NOT because I have a thing for the Rose Parade. It’s because I’M HAVING MEMORY ISSUES due to one of my long-term prescription meds. (When I remember which one I’ll let you know.)

TOMORROW I HAVE TO CALL OUR HANDYMAN, GARY. We talked a couple of weeks ago about redoing the caulk at the base of our toilet in the hall bathroom and agreed to set up an appointment right after the holidays. So tomorrow’s the day. I want the work done before the end of this week because we’re expecting a houseguest on the 12th ... and everybody knows you need good-looking caulk for houseguests.

TODAY WAS HOWDYGRAM HEADQUARTERS’ DEVILED EGG FESTIVAL. This involved preparation of 28 deviled eggs (14 eggs cut in half) stuffed with my own TOP SECRET RECIPE, which I’ll be glad to share with you here because it’s no big deal whatsoever. Yes, the recipe is completely pedestrian ... but we love it. (Stop laughing.)

• Mashed yolks from 14 hard-boiled eggs
• Large wad of mayonnaise
• Smaller wad of  decent-quality stone ground mustard
• Dash of Lawry’s seasoned salt

In my past life I’d typically use a disposable pastry bag with a fancy little tip to pipe the filling into the eggs, but today I had to “wing it” with a plastic teaspoon from Wal-Mart, which served its purpose and didn’t diminish the overall tastiness of the finished product. Just for fun, however, I just ordered myself an inexpensive $14 pastry bag kit from Amazon — disposable bags, couplers, several fancy tips and reuseable bag clips — for next time.

Incidentally, Costco sells hard-boiled eggs ... perfectly cooked and perfectly peeled in handy bags of 24. This is the best invention on planet earth aside from Annie Chun’s ready-to-eat white sticky rice in teeny bowls!

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I have another lovely gang of FREE FONTS for you ... all different kinds! “RedFlowers” has a distinct art deco vibe, “Stemle” and “Median” offer lots of extra swashy things, “Winter Tales” is a collection of three coordinating typefaces (one script, two sans serif), and “Infinite Stroke” includes several condensed and bold styles. My favorites here are “RedFlowers” and “Infinite Stroke,” and I’ve already used both of them for greeting card designs for The Howdygram Store! I’ll include download links below the graphic.

RedFlowers • Stemle • Median • Winter Tales • Infinite Stroke

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Yesterday was “freebie” day for Creative Market customers, and I downloaded a really beautiful collection of high-resolution clip art images ... succulent flowers, leaves and branches. They even threw in a terrific set of seamless background patterns! (I love seamless background patterns.)

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Thank you for reading this. I think it’s time for my favorite senior citizen activity: SLEEP.