National Pi Day. A chance to celebrate everybody’s favorite dessert and a boring mathematical constant.

Yee-haw and pass the lemonade ... IT’S SUMMER IN TEXAS! Even though I’m a handicapped senior citizen with mobility issues who only leaves the house in a wheelchair four times a year for doctor appointments, I still pay attention to rainfall totals, tornado warnings and daily weather reports ... and according to Weather.com it was almost 90° here today! Holy crap, right?

And we had perfect weather today to throw a big hoo-hah for (wait for it) ... NATIONAL PI DAY! Or, America’s opportunity to celebrate everybody’s favorite dessert and a boring mathematical constant. Here’s wishing each of you a great big pumpkin pi, a can of Reddi Whip and a calculator. You’re welcome. Pass the napkins.

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We’ve got some exciting teeny tidbits of news today from the 2016 Republican clown car, which I’ll arrange into little well-composed paragraphs just for the hell of it.

SARAH PALIN, the shrieky, demented and permanently-intoxicated former half-term governor of Alaska, popped up in Florida today to introduce Chris Christie at a Donald Trump rally. This was actually a huge surprise (even to Trump), since her husband is in intensive care in Alaska due to crashing his snowmobile into a moose who supports Ted Turd Cruz.

A group of DONALD TRUMP fans calling themselves the “Lion’s Guard” — a 21st century version of Hitler’s stormtroopers — are slapping together a militia to protect the Manhattan orangutan’s rallies from protesters with signs. Anybody want to venture a guess what color shirts they’ll wear?  

SENATOR TURD CRUZ says he’ll support any Republican Party candidate for president, but “if, for example, [Donald Trump] were to go out on Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, I would not be willing to support him.” It’s refreshing to see a Republican with such strong principles.

Poor little MARCO RUBIO still thinks he can win the Florida primary tomorrow. It ain’t gonna happen, but thin-skinned attack dog DONALD TRUMP, who is always in panic mode, has accused Marco of “rigging” the election with an illegal and dishonest trick called EARLY VOTING. Somebody should tell Trump that early voting is LEGAL and that “law enforcement” has no involvement in this process whatsoever.

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I only have two free fonts for you today, and I love BOTH of them! “Stonestick” is actually a demo version, but it includes numerals and full punctation so it’s good enough for what I need. If you’re willing to pay $16 for the complete font at Creative Market you’ll also get a coordinating sans serif typeface and a bunch of fancy illustrations and doodads. FYI, “Dirty Halftone” was a limited-time freebie for Creative Market customers so I can’t give you the download link. (Sorry.)

Stonestick

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Every once in a while I run across a product online that surprises the hell out of me, mostly because I haven’t set foot in a grocery store since 2009 due to being old and immobile with bladder issues and I have no idea what’s on supermarket shelves in 2016. So imagine my surprise today when I ran across Annie Chun’s Rice Express — real restaurant-quality sticky rice in ONE MINUTE! — while I was shopping for paper towels on Amazon. It’s something easy that Sam can whip up for me in the kitchen ... and I can even make it for myself in the study because I have microwave on my desk! 

Just for fun I also threw in a box of 200 cheap yet tasty soy sauce packets, the same kind you get from your favorite Chinese restaurant and half the price of Kikkoman. Everything should be here on Wednesday if you’d like to come over and watch me eat.

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I’ll end today’s post with the latest photos of my niece Melissa’s adorable offspring, Tyler and Addison, running around in the great outdoors. These kids are so damn cute I could spread them on a bagel and eat them for breakfast.

Thank you for reading this.