Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick is a God-botherer who lives in a very dark and dreadful world.

It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake since 4, although I’m pretty sure this is no big deal to you in any way whatsoever. Never mind, okay? Let’s do a Putz of the Week instead!

Meet right-wing Tea Party shitbag Rep. Steve King of Iowa, who’s the target of a new bill attempting to stop him from “perverting the Constitution” and “abusing taxpayer dollars.” 

Rep. Jared Polis, a gay Democrat from Colorado, mockingly introduced the bill on Friday, announcing what he called the “Restrain Steve King from Legislating Act,” a direct response to King’s latest proposed legislation that would bar federal judges from having jurisdiction over any cases involving marriage. Particularly same-sex marriage.

“For too long Steve King has overstepped his constitutionally nonexistent judicial authority,” Polis said in his statement. “Mr. King has perverted the Constitution to create rights to things such as discrimination, bullying and disparate treatment. His efforts to enshrine these appalling values as constitutional rights were not envisioned by the voters, or by King’s colleagues who must currently try to restrain his attempts to single-handedly rewrite the nation’s founding principles on a bill-by-bill basis while legislating a role for himself in the marriage decisions of others.”

NICELY DONE, MR. POLIS. Mazel tov to you and yours from the Howdygram!

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As long as I’m doing politics this morning I guess I’ll add one more tidbit. This time it’s  Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick of Texas, who apparently has appointed himself the Lone Star State’s Protector of Godly Families from Socialist Anti-Jesus Evildoers with Crayons and Coloring Books. Dan Patrick is a God-botherer who lives in a very dark and dreadful world. All 20 members of Patrick’s gang of Tea Party assholes “advisory board” have vehemently opposed a progressive new high-quality pre-K plan introduced recently by Governor Greg Abbott, blasting the proposed legislation as “socialist” and “a threat to parental rights.” Nursery school? Seriously?

Their official letter stated: “We are experimenting at great cost to taxpayers with a program that removes our young children from homes and half-day religious preschools to a Godless environment. This interference by the state tramples up our parental rights. The early removal of children from parents’ care is historically promoted in socialist countries, not free societies which respect parental rights.”

Dan Patrick sure has a strange view of pre-K nursery school, which is pretty much the only option for millions of mothers, many of them single, who have to work for a living. HOW DID THIS ASSHOLE EVER GET ELECTED?!

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I think this might be a fine time to take my first nap of the day because I can’t really think of anything else to do right now. Thank you for putting up with me.