You’ll have to settle for smelling like Justin Bieber instead.

Howdy, shalom and how’s the family from our house to yours! It’s a nice, quiet Friday morning here with no remarkable weather, no breaking news, no immediate health issues and no socks to fold. As a matter of fact, the only activity on my agenda is refilling my pill organizer for the week ahead, which involves 10 different prescriptions taken multiple times a day. Trust me, guys, this is a major hoo-hah. And I also inject insulin a shitload of insulin.

If you suddenly feel really sorry for me and think you’d like to buy me a present please click here to request a convenient list of suitable year-round gift suggestions with links. Thank you in advance for your heartwarming generosity.

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Oh, those wacky Japanese! Just in time for April Fool’s Day the marketing Einsteins at Burger King in Japan are rolling out a limited-edition perfume that makes you smell like a couple of all-beef patties. The Flame-Grilled Fragrance will sell for 5,000 yen (about $41) and includes a FREE WHOPPER.

Burger King says this is a one-day event and it’s only available in Japan. Sorry, everybody else. You’ll have to settle for smelling like Justin Bieber instead.

Thank you for reading this.