Thursday, December 4, 2014

I’m having a perfect Thursday. Homemade soup and a Hayley Mills movie.

Hi, guys. It’s a dark and dismal Thursday afternoon at Howdygram headquarters with no activities of any interest whatsoever except a BIG FAT POT OF HOMEMADE SOUP. Today I made Easy Beef Leftover Thanksgiving Turkey Vegetable Soup for Senior Citizens, and I’m pleased to report there’s enough for a guest if you’d like to drop in for a few minutes with your own spoon. SOUP IS THE BEST FOOD ON EARTH not counting Russell Stover sugar-free marshmallow Santas and once in a while braunschweiger.



Last night Sam and I watched the third installment of The Godfather trilogy, The Godfather Part III (1990) starring the same cast of scary characters and a strange bunch of new ones, such as George Hamilton. This was the first time I’d ever seen The Godfather Part III so I’d like to offer a speedy synopsis of the story. Thank you.

Michael is old. He has diabetes, wrinkles, a shitload of money, ugly hair, two grown children and an ex-wife played by Diane Keaton who still hates his guts but has much nicer hair in Part III. In an early scene Michael tries to buy his way into heaven by donating $100 million to the Catholic church except he finds out afterwards that the Vatican bank is a scam run by criminals and he just flushed his dough down the toilet.

New on the scene is Vincent (played by Andy Garcia), the illegitimate twentysomething son of dead James Caan from the original movie in 1972, who has serious anger management issues involving bullets and biting off people’s ears. He also gets involved in a steamy relationship with Michael’s teenage daughter, Mary (played by Sofia Coppola), however Michael is not thrilled about this for two reasons: 1) Mary is a kid; and 2) Vincent is her first cousin. Michael explains to him that NICE GANGSTERS DON’T SCREW THEIR FIRST COUSINS.
Quite a bit of this sequel is set in Italy since it was cheaper probably than filming in New York and also because Michael’s son, Anthony (Franc D’Ambrosio), decides to be an opera singer instead of a godfather-in-training and everybody flies to Rome for his debut. Other highlights include somebody murdering the Pope, dead priests all over the place, a couple of massacres, Michael having low blood sugar, Connie (Talia Shire) killing Eli Wallach with a poisoned cannoli, and a bloody shootout on the steps of the opera house less than 15 minutes after Anthony makes everybody proud. It’s definitely a jam-packed three hours, and I highly recommend this movie if you haven’t seen it.



Know what? I’ve got another Putz of the Week for you! This time we’re recognizing Tim Huelskamp of Kansas, a right-wing GOP Congressman who isn’t satisfied with the Republicans’ standard level of hate for the Communist Nazi from Kenya who’s living illegally in the White House. A fuckwit Teabagger through and through, Huelskamp feels compelled to Send A Message about President Obama’s clearly dangerous executive action on immigration, so instead of empty gestures like impeachment, lawsuits, angry letters or threatening to shut down the government, HUELSKAMP WANTS TO CUT FUNDING FOR AIR FORCE ONE.
Cut funding for Air Force One? SERIOUSLY? How can a member of Congress not know that “Air Force One” is a CALL SIGN ... and that ANY FLYING CONTRIVANCE that transports the President earns this designation, whether it’s a hang-glider, a World War I biplane or a customized Boeing VC-25 jumbo jet with a gourmet kitchen and huge reclining seats. Also, why DEFUND the damn thing? Can’t Congress just pass a law forcing the President to be not-uppity and ride in the back of the plane?

Our second-place Putz award would go to douchebag Steve King (R-IA), pictured at right, who believes that unless Congress defunds every part of the government that might comply in any way with President Obummer’s immigration plan, Congress itself might be an “accessory” to his unconstitutional crime wave.

I guess this also means that Congress would have to impeach itself and draw teeny Hitler mustaches on their official portraits. I’m thinking this might be a fun group project right before their afternoon Congressional nap and a much neater activity than playing with clay.



And now I think I’ll warm up some more soup, make a nice pickle & pimiento loaf sandwich on low-carb toast and indulge in a movie. This could be the perfect opportunity to watch The Trouble with Angels (1966) starring Rosalind Russell and Hayley Mills since Sam is unconscious on the sofa and therefore can’t have a brain hemorrhage.
Thank you for reading this.

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