Soup is the answer to everything.

I’ve got some frightening news for you. It’s 3:45 in the afternoon and, due to lots of naps, I haven’t eaten a meal yet today. NOT A SINGLE CRUMB. Not even a snack! However as soon as my maid leaves — I’m guessing within the next 15 minutes — I’ll immediately throw together a nice big pot of Marcy’s Famous One-Pot Asian Food Feast for Senior Citizens because it’s cold outside and raining, starvation can’t continue forever and soup is the answer to EVERYTHING.

God bless soup.

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I enjoyed a nice little silicone adventure this morning on Amazon. I was initially looking for a rubber jar opener to keep in my desk in the study because I have a really hard time in the middle of the night uncapping the teeny bottles of Coke Zero in my mini-fridge — I know, I know. First world problems, right? — and discovered the snazzy silicone version illustrated below. A package of four for less than five bucks with free shipping. Success!

Then Amazon, in its infinite wisdom, saw fit to recommend another product for my possible interest ... a set of FIVE ALL-PURPOSE FLEXIBLE SILICONE KITCHEN PADS in high-end decorator colors: PUKEY GOLD! CITRUS GREEN! WASHED-OUT PURPLE! NICE BLUE! WEIRD ORANGEY-RED! And not only are these pads attractive as fuck, they’re also ideal for every imaginable kitchen chore. Use them as pot-holders and oven mitts, as trivets under hot saucepans or a tea kettle, as a countertop spoon rest, add them to a stir-fry if you run out of meat or slap an annoying intruder without leaving fingerprints!  (I might be kidding about the stir-fry.) Only $11.99 for the set. This is a Genuine Howdygram-Approved Bargain.

Oy, it’s already 5 p.m. and I need to eat something RIGHT NOW. I’ll be back later. You can count on it.