Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I’m having a very shitty day.

Even though I try hard to remain upbeat in the face of day-to-day adversity — chronic pain, diabetes, running out of braunschweiger — today I’m mostly feeling bummed out, defeated and shitty following an early-morning appointment with Dr. M. For your possible interest the sordid details appear below with helpful subtitles.

I’VE GOT A SERIOUS URINARY TRACT INFECTION. Apparently there was such a high level of terrifying crap in my urine test this morning that Dr. M prescribed a “high power” antibiotic so strong it actually has SIDE EFFECTS.

I HAVE TO STOP TAKING NAPROXEN. An emergency room physician at Baylor Hospital prescribed Naproxen for me a month ago when I was showed up with my “shitty mystery fever” [see previous post] and so far this is the only medication I’ve ever taken that actually stopped my chronic pain. Unfortunately, Naproxen is an anti-inflammatory NSAID drug that can cause a heart attack, stroke and kidney failure and should not be taken by anyone with diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I HAVE ALL THREE. Dr. M wants me to discontinue it immediately, and I’m so sad I want to smack things with my cane.

SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH MY BLOOD SUGAR. I think I mentioned a few days ago that my insulin needs have decreased due to frequent episodes of hypoglycemia, so I’ve been injecting lower doses at mealtime and bedtime for the last six weeks or so. I assumed this was a positive thing but I was wrong, as usual. Dr. M said this is typically a sign of declining kidney function and my body “storing up” insulin (which is bad) rather than using it (which is good). Today’s lab work will tell her what’s going on.

I’M BEING REFERRED TO A CARDIOLOGIST. Dr. M heard something strange when she listened to my heart this morning, so we did an EKG that confirmed her suspicion: My beats are out of whack and something’s wrong with the rhythm. She also says it seems like I’ve had some “heart damage” and she wants a cardiologist to look further. SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

I HAD A VERY LOUSY EXPERIENCE AT THE LAB. The phlebotomist had a few problems finding a vein in the top of my hand, stabbed me in three different places and then took about 20 minutes to fill five stinking little tubes with blood. When I was finally through and heading out to the parking lot with Sam she chased me down to tell me she needs “one more tube,” to which I replied: “NOPE. NOT TODAY.”

I think I’ll cheer myself up now by reading the news.

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